My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
