I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
