make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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