I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You may now shotgun with the bride
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
