I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
