Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
