Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
