dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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