I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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