So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
