I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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