Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
