i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My ATM looks so different sober.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
