cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
