you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
