I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
