i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
