but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
