can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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