i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
