Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
