Me. At least after what I've been through.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Boobs are out for the taking
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
