Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
