There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My bed smells like the plague
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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