I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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