Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
