Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
