was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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