is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
