Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
