So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
