Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Randomize
