DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
