Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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