is wine microwaveable?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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