I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
