i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
