if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
