I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
