I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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