Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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