Whod you bang
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
