Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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