i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
