Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize