just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
