all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
