I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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