So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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