i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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