he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
