I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
