Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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