Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
