what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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